Has it ever occurred to you that Jesus could be your soulmate? Not could, but is? Because when we analyse our cultural notions of a soulmate, I’ve come to realise that it correlates more with the characteristics of Jesus, than it does man. For instance: one who unfailingly matches your personality type, state of being, or temperament of soul; a person who completes you, understands you inside and out; never wants to leave you; a person who will uplift and fulfill you in life-changing ways. The list truly goes on. It’s an idea that cannot fully be described yet, as we have seen, somehow entails a substantial amount of descriptions within its criteria required for its manifestation. It is why many of us torture ourselves with the idea that “Oh, I live in Wales but my soulmate could be in Australia. How ever will I meet them??” leading to anxiety and depression; or “My spouse can’t really be my soulmate can they? Maybe I should leave them and keep searching?” leading to infidelity and divorce rates. It’s an internal want for more. A deep itch that you believe only one person can scratch. But whether we will ever meet that person is the question which begs to be answered.
The last thing you want to be on this earth, reader, is a wanderer. Most especially not a wanderer in love when we have totally free, unlimited access to Love itself (1 John 4:8). Remember, God created our soul (Ezekiel 18:4) and therefore He knows exactly what they are yearning for (Luke 12:30). I can confirm that you will in actual fact meet your soulmate one day. But will He meet you and embrace you or will He breeze past having never knew you (Matthew 7:23), simply because you kept looking for your supposed one true love half way around the globe? In recognising that Jesus is your soulmate, humans can then be relegated to ‘companion’ and thus the severity of the search is dramatically lessened. The chase, you can say, is actually brought to a halt.
I tell you, the complexities of our soul is not something we should ever entrust with man. Or limit to their possession to vainly fulfil an ephemeral fantasy. Zooming in on the soul, in the book of Job, satan was told he could take everything Job has; his cattle, his mansions, his children (!) but he was prohibited by God to ‘lay a hand on his person’ (Job 1:12) in other words his soul. Bear this in mind, reader, as we dive into the rest of the piece. The soul is nothing to perceive lightly.
The official scripture for this month’s bible bonk is from The Song of Solomon (Song of Songs in other translations)! I remember one day craving for a reading of non-explicit romantic literature and then remembered a video I’d watched wherein fellow believers spoke about the book aiding in this area and so, one night I dove straight in and was not disappointed! As with all what the Bible does, it places practicalities onto the topics which we as imperfect beings want to overcomplicate or abuse. And Love is a something I never want to mess up.
Love God, love people, love life. I know that sounds like a motto for a hippie youth church somewhere but that is truly how it goes. A little life rule I (am trying to) adhere by: ‘If it’s not in the Bible, I’m not listening.’. Very simple and it does wonders for the mental health. Jesus is all we need to know. God has made woman for man and man for woman to carry out practicalities, because God works with logic. Soulmates and star signs, etc do not. What they do is keep you wondering and working. Jesus instead calls us to come to Him so that we can finally rest (Matthew 11:28-30) and alleviate ourselves from the burdens of romantic and oftentimes unattainable Love.
In The Song of Solomon, there is a beautiful dance that occurs between Solomon and the Shulamite woman; this is also where ‘suitors’ come in. Firstly, I ask you that if God is Love, why do we search for it? Why do we spend the entireties of our lives reading about it, writing about it, talking about it, teaching it and learning it? Because we have made variants of Love. We’ve watered down Love. We’ve defined Love in the best way that appeases our flesh and has us working in our own power. After all, is this not what Valentines Day brags about: ‘I’ve found you and you’ve found me, so let us celebrate for the whole world to see’. I have no problem with Valentines Day, I love Love and in the future I will 100% be celebrating with my partner on this day. But I will also be giving the glory to God for making our union possible and being the very reason it will continue on. That way, I know our love is safe and secure on January 1st, September 3rd, November 22nd and so on and so forth.
When sending their tokens of love to one another, the Shulamite woman repeats a particular phrase in and out of her bursts of elation and affection. Found in 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4-
‘I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases.’
In my search for romantic inspiration, here was a woman clearly immersed in it and by definition had found her “soulmate” who was now telling me to not go looking for it. To immediately purge the yearning from my inner being. How on earth was I going to do that?! Firstly, it must be established that the Shulamite woman had not found her soulmate but rather her suitor; a key difference that will change your outlook of Love. The Shulamite woman was able to dish out such advice because she understood that she shouldn’t seek but be sought after…
“While in bed at night, I reached for the one I love with heart and soul. I looked for him, but he wasn’t there. So I searched through the town for the one I love. I looked on every street, but he wasn’t there. I even asked the guards patrolling the town, “Have you seen the one I love so much?” Right after that, I found him. I held him and would not let go until I had taken him to the home of my mother. Young women of Jerusalem, promise me by the power of deer and gazelles, never to waken love before it is ready.’ (3:1-5 CEV)
As a suitor as opposed to a soulmate, we pursue and put value over the person we meet:
‘You led me to your banquet room and showered me with love.’ (2:4 CEV)
starkly different to the idea of a soulmate whom which the “universe” brought forth and having had nothing to do with our input, we expectantly fail to put such input into the relationship necessary to sustain it.
So, how to stop looking for it as the successful Shulamite woman commands…Well, as I mentioned earlier, for a start I would stop wandering. And instead walk straight to the feet of the King. I would let my spouse on earth instead just be my mate. I would stop giving out my soul to the idol of romance and place the responsibilities of Love back into the hands of its rightful owner our Creator and God of the aforementioned universe. I would confirm that I am enough for my self, exactly where I am at, right now. I would know that there is a time for everything.
Most of all I would tell myself to stay clinging to the cross, not the stars.
All my (unearthly) love, Sarah J.